Christmas consumerism - weird stuff to give

In the pre-apocalyptic future, the air will be so thick, it will be dark in the middle of the day. Coupled with the almost constant rain, you'll need to find a way to stay dry, and light your way to the noodle shop down the street.

Even though this is rather a scene from “Blade Runner”, Christmas shopping can sometimes turn into a horror trip (check this website specialized in publishing their reader's worst Christmas experiences), especially for those who decide to wait until day zero to get the Christmas tree, the presents and some quick burgers, while Mommy's been hysteric all day. Take your LED umbrella and take it easy – shop for some of the following items; for sure they'll turn your Christmas Eve in a funny and weird event!


Step 1: The Christmas tree.
If you’re a real American kitsch lover, get a wacky plastic tree with snowing machine.
If you'd rather define yourself as urban lifestyler living in a quite small apartment, this wonderful upside down pre-lit Christmas tree may be ideal for you.

Step 1: Christmas presents.
What most people are looking for are gadgets – accessories for your car, your ipod, your mobile phone, weird SkyMall stuff you definitively can’t live without etc.



But nothing can beat this. The perfect gadget to be invented in the future:




Christmas time is feared especially by those who lack the money to enjoy it. Walmart is the solution. The people of Walmart put on their Christmas themed clothing (in 2005, 50 % of Americans did so) and shop for cheap food, tacky decoration items and even gifts for their spouses and children. Walmart makes dreams come true, as this commercial full of cute and sentimental soldiers in Iraq, confirms.




Bacon is trendy these days – I found the perfect gift for nasty brothers and sisters: bacon and egg bandages or strips, bacon flavored dental floss or toothpicks. I think Twinkie flavor was also available.


Talking about eggs, this gun egg fryer (mold) also looks promising; the resulting egg can then be accompanied by some junk food ordered by Burger Phone.


When entering a child’s room, you will usually find him or her almost buried under mountains of stupid toys; but each year they want more and more of these horrible and useless plastic objects they’ve seen in some TV commercial…




I really liked this hugging-Yoda backpack or the Graveyard Gothic Garden – an idea I already had some time ago: bury something (hopefully not someone, as the Garden is very small), grow some strange and creepy looking plants and place some skulls and spiders in between.
For babies, the Vampire pacifier is an absolute must (unfortunately, the baby model on the photo doesn't fit...).



One of the most disgusting, but nevertheless very useful Christmas presents I found was this unappetizing kitchen tool: a “running nose” egg separator.

Got no money at all? One website on weird Christmas gift’s proposal was this:
Want someone to remember you? This is a cheap but memorable, strange Christmas gift that will make the most diehard conservative giggle a bit. Capture your own essence after eating Mexican food in a jar or other container that can be made to be airtight and then give the gift of odor this holiday season.

Well, I'm not quite sure this works. I'd rather suggest to save some money and buy the original remote controlled fart machine.

Christmas is also Santa Claus, snowmen and reindeer. But that's another story. I leave you with this beautiful but weird TV commercial for IRN-BRU, a Scottish softdrink.



I'm looking forwards to reading your comments, see you next week!